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:~: Monday, May 23, 2005 :~:

It All Boils Down to Attitude...

Excitement, doubt demons and motivation. That's what's on my mind. Or not on my mind as the case may be.

Two full requests on MB in two days from two RWA approved agents. One would think that would excite me, eh? Not so. I've had requests for fulls before, and have gotten my hopes up, only to be sucked down by the doubt demons when it turns out to be nothing (or when I just don't hear back). When these requests came in, I wasn't excited in the least. Does that mean I'm becoming jaded? Realistic? Just don't care anymore? Not sure.

I DO care, don't get me wrong. I DO want an agent to swoop in and grab me, I DO think my writing is good enough to sell. I DO want to snag an agent before Nationals. Do I think it's going to happen from these requests, though? No clue.

My psychically connected CP says I'm turning toward the dark and pessimistic side. That's not my M.O. I'm generally a "glass is half full" kinda gal. But being honest about what's happening and not getting excited about something that may not pan out, seems like the best idea to me at the moment.

My DH on the other hand tells me I need to think positively. That positive enegry negates positive actions. This from the most conservative man on the planet. Go figure. Of course, he did grow up in Eugene, so maybe some of that hippy new-age crap did rub off on him at one time or another (don't tell his parents.) He gets upset with me if I don't BELIEVE I'm going to sell this year. Just like he gets upset with me when I laugh at the lottery tickets he buys. "You have to think like a winner, babe." That's what I hear all the time. Sorry, honey, we didn't win the big jackpot last weekend. What does that say about all our positive energy?

So all of this - excitement, doubt demons, pessimism - brings me to the real problem I'm having right now, which is motivation. Since finishing my rewrite on WFM, I have no motivation to jump back into my wip. I can see the scenes, my characters are talking to me, and I "feel" the story, I just have no desire to write it. I thought I needed a few down days...not so. It's been a week and now I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with me. Did the workshop I went to last weekend help? Not really. Learned a lot of great things, but it didn't do a thing to make me want to haul my ass back to the grindstone.

I need a swift kick in the pants, people. Anyone want to take a shot?

(Don't answer that one, Becky.)


Blogger Linda Winfree said...

Here's your kick. If I have to dark and horrible things to my characters, so do you. So there. :-P

My DH and I have the same discussion about lottery tickets.

I want to think I'm more a realist than a pessimist . . . and realistically? Hard work and damn good writing is what is going to get us there.

So get back to work.

And if it will make your DH happy, we can sit around later and send some positive energy into the universe . . .

1:46 PM  
Blogger Piper Lee said...

Hell, I say chalk it up to PMS, (even if it's not) and eat some friggin chocolate!

Give yourself permission to take a break; you'll feel better and you'll feel in control.

Then, get your ass back in that chair and whip out your WIP!

That's as much ass kickin as I'm gonna give ya today girl! Good luck, happy writing and remember: I love ya!

12:20 AM  
Blogger Paty Jager said...

You can't sit around waiting to hear from an agent or editor. Get to that computer and keep putting out the kind of writing you know is going to sell. Agents and editors are fickle - we writers aren't! :)

If you are writing only to sell, you aren't putting your heart and soul into your writing. What is it? Do you only want to sell, or do you have to write to be happy and feel fulfilled? Those are things to look at. If I had quit after a few rejections, I wouldn't be the writer I am now. Granted I'm still not selling, but I must not suck too bad when my readers and CP's beg me for the next chapter. That's what I want out of my writing. To enjoy the frustration and rapture of putting together a story that makes people want more. I guess I don't give my stories enough of a twist to catch an editor or agent, but damn! I sure catch my readers!
Keep putting those stories out, from what I've heard from those that are reading you, you have what it takes, it just takes the right alignment of the stars and you'll be one!

7:16 AM  
Blogger Elisabeth Naughton said...

Well, now. My butt is sore.

Enough whining. I'm back at the grindstone. Wrote six pages this morning and hope to finish chapter six this afternoon. Feeling better...doubt demons are being pushed to the background.

Thanks for all, girls! What on earth would I do without you????

11:53 AM  
Blogger Steph T. said...

I think it's okay to get to the stage where you recognize that a request for a full isn't an offer just yet - it was great for me to get those first ones, the rejections killed me, and now when I get the requests I'm much more jaded. But remember, there are some writers who never get to the stage where fulls are requested regularly. So let that carry you through!

And I'm proud of you for being done whining because I am never done whining. Ever.

5:57 AM  

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