I'm not usually big on jokes and funnies, but this came through my email today and I decided to post it here. Not only is it TRUE to the letter, but it made me laugh out loud. Those of you thinking of setting a book in the Pacific Northwest should definitely read this and take notes. PNW isn't a place, it's a state of mind.

You Might Be From The Pacific Northwest If...

1. You know the state flower (Mildew)

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain,"and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks."

18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.

19. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

20. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

21. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

22. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

25. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

26. You knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was fake.

27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

28. You measure distance in hours.

29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

30. You use a down comforter in the summer.

31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.

32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

33. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).

(As I type this, my four-year old is singing an ode to his wonderful penis. The male fascination starts waaaaay too early...)

*Ahem*

Things I've Learned Since I Started Writing

1. Books are the greatest things on earth. I always knew that, I just didn't realize how fabulous they were until I saw what went in to churning one out.
2. Writers are the nicest people on the planet. Some of my closest friends are writers. I couldn't live without them.
3. My writer's group rocks!
4. Writing is damn hard. If it were easy, none of us would be doing it.
5. It doesn't matter how many words I type in a day, my story is constantly churning in my head, and that's progress.
6. Every word I type gets me closer to my goal. And every time I sit down to write, I'm getting better at what I'm doing.
7. I could easily waste a whole day blog-hopping and reading loops.
8. Sincerity shines through.
9. Writers who brag about their successes rub me the wrong way, but writers who are honest and helpful are gems to be cherished.
10. Published authors really do want to pass on their knowledge and help unpubs.
11. Be careful what you say and type - someone is always listening (and reading).
12. Writers are - first and foremost - readers. They'll be the first ones to buy your books, the ones who'll spread your name like wildfire. Be kind to them.
13. Having a mentor who believes in you is uber-important.
14. There's a business side to writing I know very little about. But I'm learning.
15. My critique partners are gold!
16. Every time I'm sure I've written pure crap, someone tells me it's good. (And vice versa)
And finally...
17. I will never stop learning. No matter what, I'll never know-it-all. And that's a good thing.

What have you learned since you started writing?

My agent asked for a photo of me to add to my bio when she starts pitching my book at the end of the month. One would think that's not something to stress over. One obviously doesn't know me.

The last day or so I've been looking for an already-taken, updated photo of moi. And you know what I found? There aren't any. Not any good ones, at least. I'm the photographer in the house. If I'm in a photo, it's usually me with one of the Gremlins, and it's usually taken by one of the Gremlins. Which means it's off-center, or sideways, or mostly white-space with my eyeball in the lower left-hand corner. Not exactly something I can staple to my bio and call good.

So nix the whole updated photo idea. Rewind and find something maybe not-so-up-to-date, but useable. The photos here and on my website are good, but a bit outdated - um, okay, a lot outdated. They were taken about five years ago. In actuality, I look pretty much the same. I've been told I have a youthful face, and I still get carded all the time, so I suppose the pictures still work. And these photos are so dang small, who can tell they're outdated? But they aren't going to do for my bio either because, well, they're five years old.

Fast forward a bit, looking for a picture of me alone, no Gremlins, something between 2002-2006. I should be able to find something, right?

Looking through the pile, there's one of a very pregnant me from about two years ago. (Let's not go there.) One of me in my bikini from our vacation this summer. (Hmm...while it worked for Reese Witherspoon when she wanted to get into Harvard, probably not gonna work for me on a sale. I ain't no Reese.) Keep looking...There's one of me holding a monkey in Mexico. (Monkey + Mexico = contract? Probably not.) And my favorite, taken just this summer in Atlanta before the Rita's - me kicked back, feet on the desk, wine in hand, laughing my head off in the hotel room. Actually, this one fits the requirements: me, alone, up-to-date and not half-bad. Of course, if I were to use it, I'd have to add "lush" to my bio. Probably not a wise choice.

I guess there's no way around having a new photo taken. *cringe* Think a snapshot will work? Or should I go have it taken by someone who knows what they're doing?

Ah, decisions, decisions.

Karin Tabke's debut release is out today! Head over to her blog and wish her luck (and huge congratulations)!!

Brad Pitt, ever the social activist, says he won't be marrying Angelina Jolie until the restrictions on who can marry whom are dropped. "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," the 42-year-old actor reveals in Esquire magazine's October issue, on newsstands Sept. 19.

I have one question. Just one:

Does anyone care??????

Okay, I lied. I have two:

Does he think his threatening not to marry Angelina is going to make anyone change their mind on the issue of gay marriage?????

Gah! I'm sick of these two. And I liked him much better before he opened his mouth. I feel that way about most Hollywood stars regardless of their political stance. It's not about agreeing or disagreeing with them, it's about the fact they think they're going to change people's opinions just because they're rich and famous. I don't want to know their political affiliations. I want them to entertain me and that's it. I feel that way about my favorite authors, too. If they started spouting political babble, I wouldn't read them anymore, no matter what they had to say.

Am I the only one who thinks this way?

Last week Theresa posted about good things happening in threes on her blog. I never really put much store in stuff like that, but today am thinking maybe she's on to something. Over the past week, three good things have happened here:

1. Out of the blue, I got an email from my best friend from high school. We haven't spoken in over two years, and while nothing happened to sever our relationship, the different paths of our lives caused us to drift apart. I think of her often, add her to my email updates about my kids, but have accepted that we don't have a lot in common anymore. Then, voila, there's this great long email from her. I was tickled pink. We emailed back and forth and are planning to get together soon. I couldn't be happier.

2. DH got a raise. Normally, this wouldn't be such a wonderful thing, but this time it was unexpected and impressive. He woke up one morning to a message from his district manager saying in rare instances the company compares employee salaries and performance with comparable market trends, and they decided he wasn't making enough money. So they bumped him up. We were thrilled.

3. And finally...what was that last one again????? Oh, yeah. I remember. That news I hinted at last week.

Karmela was wrong. I didn't make a sale (although that would be very cool). You have to actually be subbing to editors to make a sale, which I have not been doing. However, I will be soon.

So, my news is that I signed with Laura Bradford of the Bradford Literary Agency. She's very enthusiastic about my book and she's going to start pitching it in the beginning of October. So wish me luck. A fourth 'good thing' happening here would be icing on the cake.

You're all so sweet. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Believe me, when I can, I'll be posting my news right here. So stay tuned...

That said, I've been giving a lot of thought to the psuedonym issue. The name I use in my writing is my maiden name - Elisabeth Naughton. When I first started writing I decided I wanted to publish under my maiden name and keep my married (legal) name under wraps. There were a variety of reasons, but most related to my kids. I talked it over with my DH and he agreed. Since then, I've established my web presence with my maiden name, have met a lot of fellow writers under this name, feel comfortable with it (I also like the way it sounds).

But (and there's always a but), if I'm going to change it, now is the time. Before I sign any sort of contracts. I've reserved both domain names just in case I ever changed my mind. And I wouldn't have given it a lot of thought except that my DH made a comment the other day about my not wanting to use his name in my publishing career. He's very proud of everything I've done, and he has a lot of faith in my career. And while he's never come right out and said it, I think a part of him feels bad that I haven't used his name.

So I'm taking a poll. (Although I'm not telling you what my married legal last name is, so that might skew your answers). What do you think? Maiden name? Married name? Has the name issue ever been something you've debated? And if so, how did you come to your answer?

Pressure

Okay, I've been slack in posting this week. Lisa slapped me with a wet noodle and said I had to post something, so here goes:

Things are afoot. I can't say what just yet, but something's happened (or happening). Will have more to post next week. (Hopefully)

Enjoy the long weekend. I'll probably be stressing.

Later...